The 5 Pillars of Self-Care
Most of us have heard the term ‘Self-Care’ and most of us have a basic understanding of what it means. What many of us don’t understand is that self-care is supposed to come before the burnout, not as a result of it. Many people I’ve worked with have come to therapy due to high stress and overwhelm in their lives. They share stories about all the stress and demands on their time and how much energy it takes to be everything to everyone. When I ask them ‘what are you doing to take care of yourself’, a common response is ‘who has time for THAT?’
Life is busy and full of responsibility and for women especially, we put other’s needs before our own. The tragedy of today’s world is that busy is the real pandemic. And, busy is often a way to avoid our feelings. (Avoidance is a topic for a different post - so, let’s get back to self-care).
The first thing you need to do before you begin a self-care journey is to change the narrative! Stop telling yourself you don’t have time. When you do that it tells yourself that you don’t feel you’re as worthy as all the other shit that fills your life! If you don’t take/make the time to take care of yourself you’re going to burn out and not be able to take care of anyone, including you.
Self-care is more than manicures, yoga and cucumber water. But, how can we learn to take care of ourselves if we don’t know what that looks like for us? I see self-care having five pillars. Leave out one pillar and the structure (you) weakens and leans.
Take a look at the list of items under each pillar and ask yourself these two questions:
Which ones do you already do?
Which ones do you feel could be a good fit?
Try to have a few things from each pillar. Implement them as soon as you can and then reflect about the changes you feel as a result of making time for yourself!
PHYSICAL PILLAR OF SELF-CARE
Eat healthy meals 3 times a day
Exercise or gentle movement
Use preventative medicine techniques (see a Naturopath …I know a great one, just ask!)
Get a massage
Dance, swim, walk, play a sport, sing or any other activity you feel is FUN
Get enough sleep
Take a road trip or vacation (even if just a mini-vacation)
Take a break from your devices (phones & computers)
PSYCHOLOGICAL PILLAR OF SELF-CARE
Try some psychotherapy, it won’t hurt! (I promise)
Make time for self-reflection; journal
Try something new that challenges you
Set boundaries (learn to say ‘no’ more)
Read something fiction or not related to work
Practice being aware of your feelings, thoughts, attitude, judgements, beliefs
Paint, knit, carve, sketch, colour - add some creativity to your week
Let people do things for you; learn to receive
EMOTIONAL PILLAR OF SELF-CARE
Let yourself have a good cry
Make a list of people, objects, hobbies or activities that bring you comfort
Find things that make you laugh
Call a good friend or someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time
Watch your favourite movie
Find ways to release anger; work out, yell into a pillow, write it out and burn it
Create a feeling box; write anything that is bothering you or has brought you joy and put it into the box. Review at the end of the month
Play with children or spend time with animals
SPIRITUAL PILLAR OF SELF-CARE
Spend time in nature
Be open to to inspiration and awe; watch the sunset or sunrise
Contribute or join a cause that you believe in
Practice awareness and curiousity
Write about something you cherish or that is meaningful in your life
Make time for gratitude
Meditate or pray
Read or listen to inspirational stories
PROFESSIONAL PILLAR OF SELF-CARE
Block 5 minutes of time for a quick body scan meditation
Re-arrange workspace so it’s comfortable and welcoming
Try to balance your workload where possible
Learn to delegate tasks that others can do
Set boundaries with colleagues regarding after hour emails
Take time to chat with coworkers about non-work related stuff
Make sure you take a lunch break!
Be sure to walk away from your desk at least twice a day; walk around the block
Did you find you were missing a lot of these? Need help implementing more self-care into your life? I can help! Tell me all about it by booking a free consultation here.
